The More We Share, The Less We Talk

The more we share, the less we talk.

That thought has been circling in my mind lately. We obviously live in a world where relationships have been redefined by social media. We “know” what’s going on in each other’s lives without ever speaking directly. I can scroll and see birthdays, job changes, vacations, even what someone ate for dinner. And yet, I can go months, or years, without truly talking to some of the people I love.

It feels like connection, but it’s not the same thing.

I’ve noticed that sharing online often gives us the illusion of closeness, while actual conversation requires something deeper. Talking is riskier. It’s slower. It asks for listening, nuance, and the willingness to linger in both the light and the heavy moments.

Recently, I’ve been relearning this truth with my sister. We were incredibly close growing up, the kind of sisters who told each other everything. But she is six years younger, and as I went off and got married, life got busier and distance grew between us. Our communication thinned out. We kept up with each other through updates and photos, but rarely with words.

A few years ago, we decided to change that. Now, she calls me once a week on her lunch break. At first, it felt awkward. After years of not talking directly, we had to find our rhythm again. It took time to rebuild the trust that comes from hearing each other’s voices instead of just seeing each other’s posts. But now? Those calls are the highlight of my week. I look forward to them with anticipation, because they remind me what real connection feels like: messy, warm, surprising, human.

That’s the paradox of our age: we are more “connected” than ever and yet lonelier than ever. We confuse exposure for intimacy. We assume sharing a post is the same as sharing our hearts. But it isn’t.

True relationship requires presence. It requires slowing down enough to ask: How are you, really? and being willing to hear the answer.

This week, instead of posting something online, maybe call a friend. Instead of liking a photo, ask a question. Instead of scrolling, sit across from someone and share silence.

Because here’s what I’m learning: the more we truly talk, the less we feel the need to prove, perform, or overshare. Talking brings us back to what matters. Being known, not just seen.

And that’s a gift no amount of online sharing can replace.