How the Brain Writes Our Stories and How We Can Rewrite Them

Healing begins when you give your brain a new story to tell.

Our brains are wired to predict and protect. They’re always scanning the world, trying to make sense of what’s happening — and to keep us safe.

When we experience fear or pain, the brain links sensations, sights, sounds, even seasons, to that feeling. It’s a kind of predictive programming:

“Last time this happened, it hurt. So let’s stay on guard.”

But the brain doesn’t always know when the danger has passed.

When my youngest daughter was born three months premature in September 2005, she weighed just 2 lbs 1 oz. Those weeks were a blur of daily NICU visits, exhaustion, and fear. The fall colors that year were breathtaking, but my memories of them were woven with anxiety.

In October, while my baby was still in the NICU, I helplessly watched my 3-year-old son’s car accident unfold before my eyes. He was okay, but my nervous system didn’t forget. Add relationship conflict, recovery from a C-section, and months of uncertainty… and my body learned that fall meant danger.

For years afterward, when the leaves began to change, I felt anxiety I couldn’t explain... sadness, tension, unease. I even found myself slightly irritated by all the people who love their fall sweaters and pumpkin-spiced lattes.

What I didn’t realize was that my brain was trying to protect me from something that had already passed.

Then one November day, I was driving with the radio on when the DJ said it was National Preemie Day. My brain jolted. What day is it today? November 17th.

It hit me: that was the day we finally brought our baby home from the hospital.

I drove home with a lighthearted curiosity, checked my journals, and confirmed it. November 17th was indeed a day to celebrate. My daughter and I pulled out her preemie photos, remembered the miracle, and created a new meaning for that time of year.

And slowly, my brain learned something new:

🍂 This season is not a threat. Life has layers.

Now I can watch the leaves turn and feel gratitude and joy, even while consciously remembering the ache. Only now, I’m active in the process rather than just reactive.

Our brains are plastic. They can learn new associations, but it takes intention. When we rewrite the story with awareness, truth, and celebration, healing happens.